Lizzy slowly rises, shuffles into the kitchen and grabs a chair, pulls it out, and straddles it so she can rest both arms on the back of the chair. Resting her cheek on the palm of her hand she speaks, slowly at first.
“I think we need some coffee. It's a good thing that I set it up to brew before I got out of bed. Without my caffeine it's really hard to get going.
"You know, I think I have reached my expiration date. Really.
"Now that I am getting older I thought it was great that I seem to have more patience. Turns out that I just don't give a shit; it's all just a waste of time."
That reminds me that this weekend is Labor Day weekend in the U.S. And Canada, so here's a great big 'Hello!' to all of you moms out there! What's that? It's not Mother's Day? Well, given the amount of labor to have a baby I think moms should get a shout out for that bit of work!”
“Huh? Where's Charley these days? We had a big talk a few weeks ago and he told me that he wanted to have an 'open relationship,' so I showed him the door and threw his things out behind him. Yes, we still see each other but it's all in the daytime only any more.
"If I get lonely for another man around the house, Heaven forbid, I should first give my head a shake, then just throw some men's underwear on the floor and push all the blankets over to the other side of the bed. That'll fix that notion. Blow my nose and get that out of my head!
"The good news is that guys still like to look at my boobs - or do they do that out of force of habit when they see you're female? In my younger years thought that was their way of showing respect. How naive, huh?”
“Charley is coming over for Labor Day to do the usual 'man' stuff, you know, drink beer, ruin the lawn by pitching horseshoes, belch a lot, and cook things on the grill. In his case it's hard for me to tell where the real hot dog is – on the grill or behind it!
“He'll have some good company because Thanksgiving Day is coming early to my house. My turkey of a brother will be here along with my cousins, Slip and Slide, the 'Gold Dust Twins'.
I don't have a lock on losers. Charley has a few in his family tree who can't find their way out of an outhouse, especially his mom. They'll be there, too. It's nothing that a few apricot sours and some Valium can't handle.
OK, so enjoy the weekend and do be careful on the roads. I'm not driving so you don't have to watch out for me. See ya later!
Thank you for dropping in and hope you all had a smile and a giggle form todays posting. Remember, laughter is the best medicine and may all comedians be blessed by all the good gods and goddesses.
Composed by Cynthia ©